“What Does It Mean to ‘Write Our Own Vows’?”

When couples seek to write their own vows, I typically point them towards a two-part vow sequence in my model ceremony as a starting point and an example. The first part of the vow is in the form of an interrogatory, and oftentimes goes –

Officiant:

“Party A First Name Last Name, do you take this man/woman, Party B First Name Last Name, to be your husband/wife, to live together in matrimony, to love him/her and honor him/her, and, forsaking all others, be true to him/her now and forever? If so, please say, “I do.”

(Party A’s response: “I do.”).

After the other Party has agreed to same or similar, the second part of the vow is often a repeat-after-officiant sequence, such as -

I, Party A First Name Last Name, take you, Party B First Name Last Name …
to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife, …
I promise to love you.
I promise to trust you.
To remain committed to you all my days
To be generous with you,
To be with you when you are happy,
And when you are in pain.
And to be receptive to the gift of your love.

(OR)

I, Party A First Name Last Name, take you, Party B First Name Last Name …
to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife …
I promise to love you.
I promise to trust you.
To remain committed to you all my days
To have and to hold,
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health
for as long as we both shall live.

These passages described above (or similar) are generally considered “the vows.”

In writing their own vows, different couples take likely as many different approaches as is possible. Some couples throw out the entire repeat-after-officiant sequence and proclaim their vow of marriage straight from the heart and without rehearsal. Other couples include a personal vow in addition to the vows given as an example above.

Many couples re-write the language given above in the same style as the vows above, but to reflect their own ideas about marriage, love and commitment.

I’m happy to assist with this process as you need or prefer. If your new family includes a professional writer, I’m happy to let the skilled trades handle the task. However, if you and your fiancée are way too busy with the myriad of details to be attended to in putting together a wedding, I’m happy to work out the language using your ideas and themes.

Please find a downloadable Microsoft Word document with sample wedding vows from 16 different faiths here at "Vows of Various Faiths".

David Barrett, Esq.
Massachusetts Justice of the Peace
David@BarrettLawOffices.com
Toll Free - 1-877-473-7852
www.BarrettLawOffices.com
www.MassJusticePeace.blogspot.com